


They say when you die your life flashes before your eyes

by well_well_well



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bruce Banner & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark Friendship, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, POV Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:02:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28525911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/well_well_well/pseuds/well_well_well
Summary: They say when you die your life flashes before your eyes...Natasha Romanoff counts the seconds before she hits the rocks of Vormir.They would live, they would all be safe.One.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	They say when you die your life flashes before your eyes

They say when you die your life flashes before your eyes. Natasha wanted to prove that wrong.   
She counted the seconds before she hit the cold, hard, unforgiving rocks below, counted the seconds as Clint’s screams pierced her ears and the sun sunk lower on her right

один one

‘There are worse ways to go, where else am I going to get a view like this?’ Sokovia, standing there on a flying city with the clouds bowing at her feet Natasha faced the reality. Only to be saved.  
A view like this.  
The sun still pocked it’s tried head over the rocky outcrop ofo the bleak planet, Vormir was cast in a pinkish glow, illuminating the harsh features and gutted cliff face rushing before her eyes

два two

Clint.  
She can still hear him yelling for her.  
‘let me go, it's okay’ and a smile. Natalia Romanova smiled before sacrificing her life. They would live, Lila would cartwheel again, Cooper would race down the farm track, Laura would hug her husband, Nathanial Pietro would smile, named after the two people that died for him.  
She thinks back to the arrow necklace, the one Clint gave to her the first time she really opened up to him-Budapest. As they fought she slipped it off. In a minute he would have the soul stone in one hand, and a thin chain-a replacement for his best friends life in the other. She hoped he would wear it, she hoped he would still watch the sunrise every 3rd of March, like they used to, she hoped he still heard her disapproving voice in his head as he climbed into the vents to do yet another stupid things, or heard her laugh when Nate fall down when he was trying to walk, or Lila poked him with an arrow. She hoped. That alone made the fall worth it.  
He was the one that saved her, who refused to kill her, who gave her job, a life, a family. Without him she would be no one, have no place in this world

три three

I have no place in this world.  
The Red Room. The place that tore her apart, that made her a weapon, a spy, an assassin; someone you begged for mercy, not someone who saved the universe.  
\--Flashback--  
Tchaikovsky rings in her ear. A simple three four count high piano and a smattering of violin. Her feet ache with sores underneath the satin shoes, her legs and arms stinging with each turn and leap. But she revels in the pain.  
If Natasha ever had something constant in her life, something that stayed regardless of the love or trouble that slammed her in the h face it would be dance.   
Natasha loved it. The beauty, the pain. Where suffering met art and love erupted in the blood shed when she fell over that edge. She's used to the pain by now, she has the Red Room to thank for that. She was taught to rely on no-one. Only herself. herself and her strength.  
So, when she finally found family, a job, a team, that warmth and dare she say acceptance felt undeserved. Foreign.

'Again'   
Madame shouts from her place by the fire place.  
One of the twenty-eight girls left-  
The memory comes in a flash, Nat shuts her eyes as the world spins around her

'Again'   
She holds the knife to the girl in the chestlock. Anastasia, one of her first real friends in hell. She had given she scraps of her dress so the hand cuffs didn't hurt too much.  
She'll make her death quick, but not painless. Snapping her arm back, with a silent prayer to the heaven, Natasha forces her friend to take her last breath.  
Her heart is pounding, heart racing, but she is still falling

'Again'  
The gun goes off hard, recoil sending a shoot of pain up her shoulder at the target  
The glory of the Red Room  
Trust no one.  
You have no friends.  
You need no friends.  
Friends make you weak.  
Friends make you stupid  
Friends will get you killed.  
There is only you, you and your strength.  
You have no place in this world.  
The Black Widow, Natalia Alianova Romanova. Natasha Romanoff. Natalie Rushman. Nicole Right. Naomi Robert. So many shattered pieces but all cutting the truth.  
You have no place in this world

четыре four  
Family.  
Steve Rogers, the supersoldier who she spent so much time with, her collegue, partner and friend. She remembered little laugh and smile, oh howo she would miss that grin. She remembered the time the two of them binge watched the Friends series, how he had cried when Chandler proposed. She wondered if, when she was gone, now she was gone he would finally get his ass on a date. Maybe Ckint would take her place as matchmaker when they won (and they will win)

Tony Stark-the man she had been sent to spy on, Natasha had watched him change from a snarky narsassistic, rude, sarcastic billionare into..well a slightly less snarky, sarcastic billionaire. She knew that he'd lost a lot. But he had a family now. A precious little girl and a wife. Nat was happy for him, despite finding it a bit hard to be. She hoped he'd make it through this- whatever this is. She hoped he'd go home to see his family.  
She remembered Bruce. Bruce, he was always so kind, despite his other side. And now...now he seemed so happy so proud of himself. Nat was glad. Sometimes, Natasha wished things had worked out between her and Banner. Sometimes, she didnt. He deserved so much better than whatever she could give him.  
Sam Wilson flickered to mind next. The man who had willing let them into his house. He was always so loyall and kind, and oh, how he could fly. She could watch him for hours, he looked so peaceful soaring above the horizon. She could watch him fly for hours, even if he was shooting wildly at people. She'd miss that. But she didn’t want to fly now.

Pepper Potts, Okoye, Shuri, Carol, Valkyrie all the woman she had paved a path for. Years ago when there had only been 6 Avengers she had been the only woman, but now they were fighting alongside men (and frequently beating him)  
I hope you fight side by side. You are not alone.  
Natasha sends a heart felt message to them all, they will inspire girls of the future and of the present to do what they wish-to take the path they want, not that is chosen for them.

пять five  
Wanda and Peter, the kids who had been pulled into something they didn’t deserve, something they didn’t understand but put their lives on the line because they knew what it was like to loose the things you loved.   
She thought back to the late nights at the compound after Ultron, when she would walk into the kitchen in the middle of the night to find Wanda crying. After a week they would sit in silence among their thoughts-their dreams and nightmare, after a fortnight they would take turns to make the hot cholate. Then after a month Wanda spoke her first words  
‘who did they take from you’  
The were both orphans, who had lost sibling and families-been turned into a weapon, but together they became a force. Natasha taught Wanda who to walk making no sound, how to sharpen a knife, how to drop her heavy Sokovian accent like a pile of bricks.  
Family is what you make it.

шесть six  
Nick Fury.  
The man who had glared at her in that interrogation room 15 years ago and spoken to her in Russian, French, Spanish, then latin, Romanian and finally English, all to get a straight answer from her.  
He had become the person she looked up to most. Her father-figure the man who greeted her with a smile and a hug fo protection and warmth, even when she felt she had no one. Maria Hill, the woman who helped run SHIELD from the shadows, the one who had saved them so many times, but no one could save them now.

Thank you Nick, for teaching me what home felt like.

Thank you to everyone, for teaching me to laugh, to smile and to look for the and navigate the darkness in between them. You were my stars. 

You are never alone.  
Natasha thought as the ground rushed up to meet her.

Семь seven  
Natalia Alianova Romanova smiled as her body shattered on the rocks. They would be safe. They would all be safe.

So when she woke to an orange glow and a green lady standing above her she knew for a fact that they would win-if they hadn’t already. She knew everything would be okay, that she had let herself go.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys,   
> I really hope you enjoyed this (I may or may not have cried reading it a bit...)  
> Please leave comments and kudos, I really appreciate it xx


End file.
